Ramsay-Peaty To Persevere Despite A Gauntlet Of Challenges
"It's hard because I know how hard I work, I know the shit I've been through, which is no fault of mine, but it does take a toll. There's obviously a lot of unanswered questions, which is fine ... we haven't even had time to debrief, but that is sport, it can break you, it can ache you"
Adam Ramsay-Peaty broke down after suffering defeat in the 100m breaststroke at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, the pain of estrangement from his family spilling with the tears of a man broken by "the shit I’ve been through" during what should have been the happiest time of his life.
Adam Ramsay-Peaty, Photo by Ian MacNicol
The greatest sprint breaststroke swimmer in history married Holly Ramsay, the daughter of the Hell's Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay, in Bath last December, but members of his own family, including his parents Caroline and Mark, and his brother James, who was arrested by police after the swimmer complained of his threatening behaviour on a stag do, were excluded.
The drama of the day at the Commonwealth Games unfolded after Ramsay-Peaty was confined to bronze in a 100m breaststroke final won in a time the English and British champion has swum faster than no less that 65 times in his stellar career. Something was lacking right from the start:
Craig Lord
After the medals ceremony, Ramsay-Peaty began to answer media questions but when asked whether the result would "fuel your fire to go faster, to train harder, to go to the Olympics", Britain's captain could hold the tears back no longer. He said:
"Sorry guys. I think it's hard because I know how hard I work, I know the shit I've been through, which is no fault of mine, to be honest, but it does take a toll.
"And I think the choices I've made over the last few months have been hard ones, but I'm happy at the same time that I can get here and I didn't quit in Paris, but I deserve more, I f***ing work for it. So there's obviously a lot of unanswered questions, which is fine, because we haven't even had time to debrief, but that is sport, it can break you, it can ache you and you can have highs and highs and lows."
"I know how hard I work, and I think I'm a better athlete than that - and I deserve more. Sport is like that, and emotions are expensive. I have to keep it in perspective; we have four days to go, and then there's Europeans and we go again. It's just hard because I know how much I've put in."
He was asked whether his wife, expecting the couple's daughter, had said anything when the "beautiful moment after you kissed the medal, you kissed your wife, you kissed her on the belly".
"She's always proud of me and I think as a father it doesn't matter if you come home with a gold, as long as you come home with a teddy. which I did (a mascot given to medal winners). The emotion is something I’m always going to carry. I’m never going to be afraid to show weakness. Because it’s so important for making stronger people, making stronger men, stronger fathers, husbands."
Focus turned back to a shock result four years after he endured the humiliation of missing the medals altogether or the first time in his senior international career at a home England Games in Birmingham.
That season saw Peaty suffer a devastating burnout. One morning in 2022, he would tell The Times a year later, he found his goggles filling up with tears in training and told his coach Mel Marshall "I can't do this anymore".
In an interview with this author at The Times, he described "the demon on my shoulder" as a persistent internal voice saying, "You're missing out on life, you're not good enough, you need a drink, you can't have what you want, you can't be happy." He went into a "spiral of self-destruction", and was forced to take time out in recovery. Kyle Chalmers, the Australian who claimed Olympic gold in the 100m freestyle aged 18 at Rio 2016, gave Peaty the name and cumber of Olympic pastor Ashley Null, and so began a journey "back to God", his Christian faith and its cross now emblazoned in tattoos on his torso.
Tonight in Glasgow, he had no answers as to what might have gone wrong beyond the emotional pain of events surrounding his family and the general disruption of a life on the move, one that stands in contrast, perhaps to the stability of years working at Loughborough with Marshall in a different phase of life.
Focus turned back to a shock result four years after he endured the humiliation of missing the medals altogether or the first time in his senior international career at a home England Games in Birmingham.
He said:
“This cycle especially, I’m like, s***, how have I worked this hard at this age? And then you get a result like that. I’m better than that. I can’t really put in where it went wrong. Maybe it’s just an off-swim. Or maybe it’s just because I’ve been two years out of the championship heats and semifinals. But it does hurt.
"There’s a lot going on in my head right now. The same thing happened four years ago in Birmingham. It’s about ignoring most of the rubbish you read about me online. You don’t know who I am. People who comment have got to look at themselves in the mirror – you cannot hurt me. It’s about my family, and that does come at a cost – being able to ignore that, and being able to focus on my job.”
"That hasn't played a part in the sense of what we're experiencing today, it's still happening without a result in some sense, but it has to stop. How many people have to go through this in the media? You have to learn and do better. For me, I don't want a young Fillip [Nowacki] one day to go through something like that, or all these younger athletes. So for me, that's part of what I have to go through and I've got no control that, but I think enough is enough."
Peaty was asked if this was akin to the beginning of the end. He didn't think so, but the climb back to his former status looks steep this evening in Glasgow.
Focus turned back to a shock result four years after he endured the humiliation of missing the medals altogether or the first time in his senior international career at a home England Games in Birmingham.
He hinted at areas where there's work to be done. The World record holders of the 50 and 100m noted the gulf between him and Nowacki at weight in: "I think for me, he's favourite... for the 200. He's definitely got speed, and he's about 25kg less [than me]. He's got many, many miles ahead of him, whereas my miles have probably come to an end, but I guess two years isn't that long to try and find him."
How to press on, now? Says Adam:
"You never know what's over the mountain. It could be your biggest dream, or it could be your worst dream. And actually having the courage to climb the mountain and look over the peak is what we do today. Unfortunately, it wasn't what we expected. I think, for me, at 31 years old, with my second child on the way, we've got a lot of decisions to make because this sport does cost. It's been a hell of a cycle.
"Three months, four months moving down to London, adjusting everything. Really rushing to get up to pace. And I honestly think, back now, it's not a decision that went wrong.
"It's not a thing that I could have done better. I absolutely would sell my body to this meet. And I think, with Europeans on the horizon now, in the next two weeks, I think we've got an opportunity to fix that.
"It wouldn't be my first time where I've had a slower Commonwealth, or I've had a slower Championships in tournament one. I'm just a bit bored. I don't really know how to answer that, to be honest.
"It's raw. ... because I'm a father. I'm not ever afraid to show weakness. I know how hard it is to show emotion. I know how important it is to show happiness and love. But also, in terms of failure, in a sense. I've made a bit of silence, I guess, with myself. But I think that emotion has helped me win world records, win bronze medals. But it also makes me realise that a bronze medal isn't the end of the world. I can still learn from it. I can still bounce back.
"And I've still got a big dog inside of me that wants to fight."
He's asked if he is ready to throw in the towel. He says:
" No, no, no. Too early for that."
